How to Stay Motivated

IS REACHING YOUR GOAL AN UPHILL BATTLE?⁣

There is no doubt that we are facing uncertainty in these unprecedented times. All of us are actively having to reshape expectations of what the  ‘new normal’ looks like.   It’s hard to motivate under the uncertainty, but even harder if you don’t understand your tendency.  Knowing whether you motivate more externally or internally can completely reinvent how you approach your goals.  The idea of the 4 tendencies came from Gretchen Rubins. She has done brilliant research and work into understanding motivation and helping people live happier and more fulfilling lives (check her stuff out!).

I have summarized the 4 tendencies below.

OBLIGER:

You operate solely off of external motivation. This means you motivate when you know someone will hold you accountable. So make a list of goals, but get an accountability buddy. Even better if they have similar goals, and if your friend is also an obliger or upholder. You can both hold each other accountable.⁣

UPHOLDER:

This means you are equally motivated by internal and external things. This can be great, and often an upholder has no problem following through on goals. The caveat is it’s very easy for an obliger to OVERCOMMIT and then feel stressed or disappointed if they can’t ‘do it all’.

QUESTIONER:

This means you motivate for what you believe in. Essentially, you will only follow your internal expectations. But you can turn outside expectations into inner beliefs if you see their value and efficiency.⁣ If you are a questioner, try being diplomatic in how you ask your questions. Be open to ‘secondary logic’ – for example – perhaps their request isn’t the most efficient, but if it matters to someone you value consider finding the purpose in that.⁣

REBEL:

This is a fun one! You resist all inner and outer expectations. Writing down goals will only stifle you. Throw the list away and take action when you feel inspired.⁣

Keep in mind this is about our dominant tendency, but we certainly have elements of each within us.  There’s no right or wrong tendency. Just empowerment in working with yourself and finding a way to light you up. We are all meant for great things!  ⁣If you aren’t sure what your tendency is or want to dive deeper you can take the tendency quiz here!

⁣A few personal notes:

I am an upholder, and I love to serve and help people.  Learning that I have such high standards on myself has made me much more aware of what I say yes to.  It’s also forced me to think harder about the implied expectations I put on myself and if they should really be there.

My partner is a questioner.  I kept thinking that he would check in on my goals.  When I realized he doesn’t ever need external feedback his absence in my goals made sense.   It also reframed how I viewed the number of questions he asks when I have an idea.  It’s helped me to not take it personally.  The best part is if I can get his buy-in he will go above and beyond for me.

I have a client who is a Rebel. It’s an interesting combination since he is essentially paying me to tell him what to do, but he hates being told.  Part of what makes it work is taking extra time to explain, answer questions, and get buy-in.  Not to mention giving more freedom so he can adjust as needed.

My co-worker is an obliger, it’s really easy for me to give her friendly reminders.  It helps her a ton and rewards me with giving a service.

This stuff really does make a difference! I hope you explore it more! XOXO

~Natalie